your parents love me but you hate me
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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