i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
