Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
