Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
