Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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