don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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