I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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