After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
