I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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