what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's blow job season.
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Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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