I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
