Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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