I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize