I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
