Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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