Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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