No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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