Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
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My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
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Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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