i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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