If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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