I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
