i may or may not be watching the land before time
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
