Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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