I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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