I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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