it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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