just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
