I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
i believe in u and ur pee
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize