i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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