GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
