if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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