I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
