i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
