Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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