I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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