The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize