alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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