It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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