I wanna bring you to show and tell
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
