It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
