Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
