She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
