when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
