Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
