Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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