were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
