Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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