you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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