walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
