Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
vagina is talking i cant
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
