It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
