I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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