Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
