with your own penis?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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