No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
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I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
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just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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