i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
